I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
