Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
