is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
