spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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