physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
