I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
