i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
