I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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