i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
