We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
