Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize