In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
