I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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