I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
