So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
