Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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