Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize