My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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