week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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