Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
