My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
