haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
