He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
