I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
