God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
