I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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