once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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