AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
