This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
