she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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