I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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