some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
