We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
