I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
