I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Randomize
