i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
