ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
