I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
