Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
