**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
That's intense
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
