remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
