Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
