This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
