i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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