my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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