1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
