we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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