i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
