yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
