spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just google imaged poop.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
