He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Church boner. Awkwardddd
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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