drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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