So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
