I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
should my penis look like a turkey
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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