Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
