I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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