When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
