the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
