I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
