Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
