the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
