Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
