so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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