I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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